A Love Story for IrishClover2001
by GuinevereKoopa
Summary: uhm....Heero is a slut! It involves 1x2, 3x4, and 3x5 could probably be inferred but it wasn't intended....Relena's 16th birthday and a surprise party is planned! (Shoulda fixed all the funkay symbols. My bad.)


A Love Story for IrishClover2001  
Reluctantly written by GuinevereKoopa   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any part of it. Not even Duo, no matter how much I want him *sigh.* So none of the Gundam Wing stuff is © me. I forget whom it is © to, but it's not © me. Please don't sue me, I was just writing a dumb story using some cool guys! But Jazmine and Danielle, the Fan-Girl Terrors, ARE © me, so DON'T STEAL THEM! And so is the "Koopa Caterers" service. Uh…I THINK that's it……….oh well, on with it.  
  
NOTE: I will state, now and for the record, that I NEVER WANTED TO WRITE THIS!!! I love Duo, truly, I do. The only reason I even wrote this in the first place was because of my stepsis, IrishClover2001 (and yes, the title WILL change every time she changes her screenname). She was being hyper, and when she read my "serious" Gundam fic (which is as yet nowhere near complete) she started being silly and entitled it "Heero and Duo: A Love Story" EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NOTHING LIKE THAT IN THERE! So I promised to write her a stupid one, just for her, so:  


HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!

  
(Did I mention that I never wanted to write this?)  
  
Oh, and PS: I'm not sure if it's spelled Pegan, Pagan, Pegen, Pagen, or Paigan. So I just spelled it Pegan. Sorry if it's incorrect, please forgive me, Paigan, and creator of Pagen. What kind of a name IS Pegen, anyway? Oh well. On with the story, Pagan!  
  
Second PS: I dunno how to spell Mugwanot, either. Is it Mugwanot, Maugwanaut, Moguanaut, Maugwanought, Muguanought, or………………Just forget it, I spelled it Mugwanot for this particular fic! Screw the Maugwanoughts and their hard to spell name!  
  
  
It was 3 AM. No one even knew why they were there, but they were. Heero Yuy was the only one that wasn't tired. Even the silent, unemotional Trowa Barton and the honor and dignity ridden Wufei Chang were half asleep. Quatre Winner was barely awake at all, and Duo Maxwell was sound asleep in his Gundam's cockpit.   
Then Heero's loudspeaker blared on. "I'm sure you all know why I've called you here," he said.   
Quatre snapped awake and Trowa and Wufei pulled their attention away from keeping their eyes open and gave Heero their full attention.   
Meanwhile, they could still hear Duo snoring softly over Death Scythe's speaker.  
Heero cleared his throat, waiting for Duo. Finally, after about five minutes of waiting, he pulled out Wing Zero's beamsabre and smacked the black Gundam upside the head with it.   
"Ahhh!!!!" Duo snapped awake. "Whadya go and do that for, Heero, huh?"   
Heero repeated, "I'm sure you all know why I've called you here."   
"To go to battle with some opposing force?" Wufei guessed.   
"Heero-Honey, we don't have a clue," Duo said.   
Again, the beamsabre came up to hit Death Scythe once more. "You will not address me by any cute nicknames in front of the others!" he yelled.   
Trowa and Wufei stared wide eyed at the two.   
"Uh…" said Wufei, "does that mean…you two…are…like…"   
"Yes," Duo said as Heero shouted, "No!" They growled at each other.   
"Wasn't it always obvious?" Quatre said, speaking for the first time that day.   
Wufei thought, pulling all his memories back to his immediate consciousness. "Hey, you're right! It is!" he said, shocked.   
"Just like it's obvious me and Trowa—"   
"Quatre!" Trowa interrupted. "Shut up!"   
"ANYWAY!" Heero shouted, pulling everyone's attention back to himself. "Since Duo doesn't know why I've called you here, I'll tell you."   
Everyone listened intently.   
"It's Relena's birthday."   
Everyone did the classic anime falldown.   
"Heero!" Duo yelled angrily. "You get me up at 3 AM, during a really GREAT dream, and just because it's Relena's birthday? I don't believe you, Heero!" He stopped, than continued with a sob, "Is there something I should know Heero?"   
Heero ignored him and continued. "She's turning sixteen and we are going to help her celebrate."   
"Whatever," Wufei said.   
"There will be a surprise party for her, at her empire in the Sanc Kingdom. And we are setting it up."   
It was no good arguing with Heero. Everyone, even Duo (though a bit reluctantly) agreed to help.   
"Good," said Heero. "Wufei, Trowa, you two are setting up the ballroom for the party. I need to find a caterer. Quatre, you need to find the guests. You know, Sally Po, Noin, the usual. Duo, I know I should be doing this, but…you need to get her away from the palace until 3PM."   
Duo's eyes snapped open. "Huh? Me?" he questioned in shock. "She doesn't even KNOW me!" he protested.   
"Sure she does." Then he continued to the others, "We will commence operations at 10 AM. Be ready."   
"Uh, if we start at 10, why'd you call us at three?" Wufei asked.   
"Cuz I'm a dumbass," Heero said with a shrug. "Okay people, ten o'clock. Be ready."   
Then he took off back home to prepare. The others went their own respective ways, too. Except for Duo.   
He was sleeping.   


***

  
The doorbell rang. Relena, brushing her hair, ignored it. It rang again. "Pegan?" she called. No answer. Then she remembered. "It had to be the butler's day off," she said sourly. She put down her brush and, straightening her dress, ran down the stairs for the door. She pulled the door open and said, slightly breathless, "Hello?"   
"Hi," the boy at the door answered. He was wearing a suit and dark glasses. "Relena?"   
She smiled. "You must be Heero's friend, Duo. Come on in."   
He walked inside and took a seat in the armchair.   
Relena gasped. "Your hair…" she said, staring at the long braid now resting across his chest. "it's…so…"   
"What? The braid? Yeah, it freaks people out sometimes," he commented.   
She shut the door, walked over to him, and gazed intently at his hair. "I wish I had hair that nice."   
He shrugged. "I guess I'm just better than you."   
"What?"   
"Nothing."   
There was a long silence. Then she asked, "So, what did Heero have planned for us?"   
Duo shrugged. "That's Heero for you," he said. "He never explains anything."   
"You seem to know him rather well," she stated.   
"Duh, he's my boyfriend."   
"What?"   
"Never mind."   


***

  
"What's taking them so long?" Wufei whispered to Trowa.   
Wufei, Trowa, and Pegan were outside, hiding in the bushes by the door.   
"It is Miss Relena's custom to…delay…guests," Pegan said.   
Wufei and Trowa looked at each other, shrugged, and continued watching the door.   
Finally, Duo stepped outside, followed closely by Relena. She turned and locked the door, then followed Duo to the car Heero had loaned him for the day.   
When they were gone, the trio rose from the bushes. Pegan pulled the leaves out of his hair and unlocked and opened the door for the other two.   
They stepped inside and immediately commented on how "pink" it was inside.   
"It is Miss Relena's custom to have…feminine…décor," Pegan informed them.   
"To the ballroom!" Trowa announced, pulling Wufei, stunned by all the pastel and pink, into the adjoined ballroom.   
Once again, it was pink. Trowa cringed. "Ugh…creepy."   
"What this place needs is a good old fashioned—"   
"Interior decorator!" they finished together.   
"Too bad we can't afford one," Wufei said.   
"I've got it covered!" Trowa whipped out a bucket of black paint and a paint roller.   
Wufei stared at him. "Where'd THAT come from?"   
"I dunno," Trowa replied. "But I've been taking storage lessons from Team Rocket."   
"But…where was the paint stuff? It couldn't have been in your pockets, your pants are too tight for ANYTHING to fit in your pockets."   
Trowa shrugged. "Like I said, Team Rocket's been giving me lessons."   
Wufei sighed. Then he said, "All right, Trowa! Let's give this place a makeover!"   
"Yeah!" Trowa cheered.   


***

  
"Whaddaya mean you can't cater a party in the Sanc Kingdom?" Heero demanded.   
The lady at the counter told him, "Sir, the Sanc Kingdom is halfway across the world."   
He slammed his fist down on the counter. "That shouldn't matter!" he yelled angrily.   
Her eyes narrowed and she threatened, "Sir, please leave before I call security."   
He stepped back from the counter. "What kind of a catering service are you," he insulted, "if you can't cater a party halfway across the globe?"   
She slammed her hand down on the red button next to the register.   
Two security guards came in and grabbed Heero by the arms. "Hey, watch it! I'm a Gundam pilot!" he protested.   
"Sure," one of them sneered back. They dragged him outside and threw him into the trash cans across the street.   
"You'll live to regret that!" he yelled, pulling a banana peel out of his hair. He stood and started walking away, but slipped on that same banana peel and fell flat on his behind.   
Gathering up what little dignity he had left, he stood and walked away.   


***

  
Quatre was walking from the Mugwanot jet plane to the house where Lucretzia Noin had taken up residence.   
"Ohmigosh, Danielle! Look who it is!"   
He stopped as two girls came running out at him. One was light-skinned, Greek looking, had dark hair, brown eyes, and glasses. The other had darker skin, looked Portuguese, and had curly black hair and dark eyes.   
"It's…No, it can't be!" the Portuguese girl said.   
"Quatre Raberba Winner! Oh…my…Gawd!" the other one said.   
"Um…" Quatre managed.   
"We love you, Quatre! You're like…"   
"You're just so cute!"   
"Thanks, I guess," he said.   
"Can I have your autograph?" they both asked at the same time, whipping out their autograph books.   
"Um…" he replied. "Sure, I guess."   
The Greek girl whipped out a gecko shaped pen and handed it to him. He took it, signed their books, and handed it back.   
"Wow! Quatre's autograph!"   
"He touched my pen! I'm like never washing this pen!"   
They ran off giggling.   
Quatre shrugged. "Whatever," he said, continuing on his way.   


***

  
"So, do you actually have a license?" Relena asked Duo.   
"Um…Yeah," he lied, mentally reminding himself to get one.   
"okay, because I was just wondering. You look awful young to have a license."   
"Hey, the carnival's in town," he commented as he passed the sign.   
"Watch the road!" she shrieked.   
"Oh yeah, sorry," he apologized sheepishly, turning his attention back to where he was driving.   
"Are you SURE you have a license?"   
"Yeah, sure I do. Would I be driving if I didn't?" he lied again.   
Silence as she considered this statement. "I wouldn't mind going to the carnival," she said sweetly.   
"Hmm…Trowa won't be there, though," he commented. "He's setting up for the party."   
"What?"   
"Uh…I said he's been at too many parties," he hastily amended.   
"But I thought—"   
"Never mind!" he smiled.   
He sighed. 'Duo,' he thought at himself, 'you dumbass! If you're not careful, you'll blow the surprise!'   
"Ooh, there it is!" Relena said, pointing.   
"Right." He pulled into the parking lot and parked. He got out and opened the door for Relena.   
She stepped out and straightened her dress. Duo shut the door behind her, then remembered to grab the keys and shut his door.   
"Okay, let's go," Relena said, holding her arm out to Duo.   
He stared at her blankly.   
She growled. "Take my arm and escort me!"   
His eyes widened. "No way! That'd be unfair to Heero!"   
"What?" she blinked.   
"Never mind," he sighed.   


***

  
Pegan sat in the corner, curled up with his knees to his chest and his arms hugging his legs, whimpering.   
"Yes!" Wufei exclaimed happily. "No more pink!"   
Trowa stepped back and eyed their handiwork. The entire room, including floor and ceiling, were painted black. The ceiling had the horoscopal constellations painted in silver on it.   
Wufei jumped down from the chandelier. He had just finished replacing the light bulbs with candles. "It's missing something," he commented.   
Trowa pulled out a bucket of silver glitter and threw it on the still wet walls, giving the room a very nice sparkle to it. "Better?"   
"Definitely," he said, flashing Trowa a thumbs-up. "But…It's STILL missing something."   
Then they looked at each other and both shouted, "Balloons!"   
"Wait," said Wufei. "Let me try this time." He reached behind his back and pulled out…nothing. "Huh?   
"You're doing it wrong, like this," Trowa said, as he reached behind his back and pulled out a helium balloon inflator.   
"Oh." He tried again, but his hands still came out empty. "Damn!" he complained.   
"No, no, no! like this!" He repeated the motion and pulled out a box of balloons.   
He tried again and pulled out the keys to his car.   
"You did it!" Trowa cheered.   
"No, that was my pocket. Hang on." He put his keys back into his pocket. Then he reached behind his back again and still his hands came up empty. "Dammit!" he shouted.   
Trowa sighed. "Just…help me blow up the balloons."   


***

  
Heero sighed. "I need a shower," he muttered. "That's the fourth trash can today. And it's only twelve o'clock." He walked up the street back to his Gundam.   
Then he saw the sign. " 'Koopa Caterers,' " he read. " 'We cater anywhere (If the price is right).' "   
He brightened. "That's it!" He walked inside.   
"Hey, cutie," the lady at the counter greeted. She was wearing a green uniform that said "Koopa Caterers" in white letters across the front.   
She flipped her dark hair over her shoulder and leaned on the counter. "What can I do for you?"   
He ran up to the counter. "Can you cater a party in the Sanc Kingdom?" he demanded.   
She stepped back and waved her hand to fan away Heero's distinctive scent. "Dear Darthnessan, boy! You need a BATH!"   
"I know," he winced.   
"Hang on a sec, I'll see." She turned around and called into the kitchen doorway, "Hey, Xav, can we do the Sanc Kingdom?"   
"What?" was the reply.   
She faced Heero again. "Sure, we can do the Sanc Kingdom. What time and address?"   
He gave her the information. She wrote it down and stuck the note in her apron. "We'll be there," she said with a wink. "Just…make sure to bathe before then, okay?"   
"I'll do that," he said. He walked out, whistling happily.   


***

  
"What time is it?" Duo asked.   
Relena turned her head and looked at his watch. "One o'clock."   
He sighed.   
"It's really dark in this tent," she commented. "Why are you wearing those sunglasses?"   
"YOU try getting up at 3 AM and flying a Gundam," he said. "It's not pretty."   
"Can you even see anything?"   
He shrugged. "Is there anything to see?"   
"Take them off!" she insisted.   
"You REALLY want me to?"   
She crossed her arms angrily. "I would like to see my date's ENTIRE face."   
"It's not a date! It's a delay!"   
"What?"   
"Never mind."   
"Take the glasses off!" she ordered him.   
He shrugged. "Whatever you say." He took them off and replaced them when she screamed. "Told you it wasn't pretty."   
"3 AM?" she questioned.   
"3 AM," he confirmed.   
"Eeew!" she cringed. She looked around. "Uh…maybe we should go."   
"Yes, let's."   
They walked down past all of the people staring at them and were on their way back to the car when they ran into Danielle and Jazmine, the Fan-Girl Terrors.   
"I can't believe it!" Danielle, the Portuguese one, shouted. "It's…it's…"   
"Duo Maxwell!" they both squealed.   
Duo was stunned. "Who ARE you?" he demanded.   
They ignored him. "Wow, Dan! You'd think we were actually IN the year After Colony 195!"   
"Um…It's After Colony 196," Duo informed them.   
They looked at each other and screamed happily, "Oh…My…GAWD!"   
"Who are you people?" he repeated.   
"I'm Danielle."   
"And I'm in love!" Jazmine threw her arms around Duo. "Ah, bliss!"   
"Get off!" he yelled. "I'm with Heero!"   
She let go and staggered back a few steps. "You're…what?"   
"With Heero!"   
"What?" Relena asked.   
"Never mind," Duo replied.   
Jazmine sighed, depressed. "Can I still have your autograph, anyway?" she asked, holding out her book and pen.   
"Sure." He took the pen, signed the book, and handed it back.   
She hugged her autograph book. "I can still dream, can't I Danny?"   
"You bet!" Danielle answered.   
They walked off to nowhere in particular.   
Duo looked at Relena. He shrugged. They continued walking back to the car.   


***

  
Wufei surveyed the room. "Let's see…Total paint makeover?"   
"Check," Trowa confirmed.   
"Glitter?"   
"Check."   
"Horoscope ceiling?"   
"Check."   
"Balloons?"   
"Check."   
"Birthday banner?"   
"Check."   
"Chandelier makeover?"   
"Check."   
"Hmm…Ribbon?"   
Trowa paused. "Uh…That's a negative."   
"But we need ribbons and streamers and other such nonsense!" Wufei stated.   
Trowa reached behind his back and pulled out nothing. "I don't have any," he said.   
Wufei pulled out his car keys. "Got any money on ya?"   
"D'oh!" He smacked his forehead with his hand. "I lent my last ten to Quatre!"   
"Uh…I won't ask," Wufei replied.   
He pulled out his wallet and opened it. A spider crawled out of the web it had built within. "Empty! Damn!"   
Then the idea struck them both at once and they looked at each other, smiling evilly.   
"Oh, Pegan," Wufei called. "Could you come here please?"   
The terrorized Pegan stood and came over hesitantly. "What do you…want…Master Wufei?" he asked nervously.   
"Oh, nothing really…"   
Trowa clubbed him in the back of his head with the paint roller and he lost consciousness rather quickly.   
Wufei took his wallet and said, "Let's go!"   


***

  
Heero was flying over the Sanc Kingdom when he remembered. "I forgot to pick up Relena's cake!" he realized.   
He detoured and landed the Wing Zero in the store parking lot. People ran screaming as he lowered to the ground.   
"Heero? What're you doing here?" Wufei demanded, stepping out of his car.   
Heero looked over at him. "Picking up Relena's cake," he said.   
"Hey, don't worry about it!" Trowa said. "We'll get it for you."   
"Thanks, guys. I was wondering how I was ever going to get it back in the Wing Zero." He re-entered the Gundam and flew back home to shower and change.   


***

  
"Well, that was rather fun, wasn't it?" Relena commented.   
"Whatever," Duo responded. Then he asked her, "Do you like Heero?"   
"What?" she blinked.   
"Do you like Heero?" he demanded.   
"Well, yeah, I mean, I've slept with him," she answered.   
Duo slammed on the brake, nearly causing an accident behind them. "You've WHAT?" he said, ignoring the guy flipping him off as he drove past.   
"We're kind of dating, ya know," she replied.   
Duo growled. "That cheating, lying, back-stabbing, sonuva bitch!" he exclaimed.   
She blinked. "What?"   
"Argh! Never MIND!" he yelled.   
"This is the weirdest birthday EVER," she stated. "Are you okay?" she asked when she noticed that Duo was crying.   
"I'm fine, you bitch," he replied angrily.   
"Huh?"   
"Forget it!" he told her. "I've got a bone to pick with Heero!"   
He took off back to Relena's estate, where Death Scythe was waiting for him in the fields beside her mansion.   


***

  
"Streamers, ribbon, and other such nonsense!" Wufei cheered, carrying the shopping bag full of ribbon, streamers, and other such nonsense into the ballroom.   
Trowa put the cake down on the table. He stopped. "Hey, I've got an idea!" he said, spotting the still-unconscious Pegan.   
"What?"   
He whipped out a roll of duct tape and wrapped Pegan's arms and torso, then taped his ankles together. "Piñata!"   
"Hey, cool," Wufei said. He pulled out a string of wire from behind his back.   
Trowa smiled. "Hey, you did it!"   
Wufei blinked. "I did, didn't I?" He connected the wire to Pegan's tape cocoon and threw the other end over the chandelier. "Help, Trowa," he said, grabbing it as it fell.   
Together, they lifted Pegan to a height halfway between the tall ceiling and the floor. Then they tied the wire to an eye-pin Trowa inserted into the floor.   
"On with the ribbon, streamers, and other such nonsense!" Wufei said.   
And they began putting the finishing touch on the ballroom.   


***

  
"This is the place," Guin, the lady with "Koopa Caterers" said, stepping out of the custom painted jet. "Xoshe, Ludwig, Susie, get your tails out here, we got a party to cater and people to feed!"   
"Hi, you must be the caterers," Quatre said, disembarking from the bus. The other guests got off and stood by, waiting for orders from Quatre.   
"Yeah, 'Koopa Caterers.' This is Relena's birthday party, right?"   
"Yup. You're at the right place!" Quatre smiled.   
"Hey, Quatre," Dorothy Catalonia questioned, re-arranging her gift in her arms. "She's turning sixteen right?"   
"Yeah," he answered. "Hey, let's go see what Trowa and Wufei did to the place."   
He opened the door and everyone filed in. He closed the door after himself.   
"Hey," Trowa greeted. "We just finished. Put the gifts next to the cake."   
"I like what you've done with the place," Dorothy commented.   
All of Relena's friends from school fainted upon seeing the state of the room. Wufei shrugged. He looked at the clock. "Hey, caterers, you've got half an hour to set up!" he announced.   
Then they heard the sound of a mobile suit rising into the air.   


***

  
Duo got out of the car and slammed the door.   
"Duo?" Relena said, stepping out of the car. "What are you doing?"   
"You'll see." He disappeared around the house and a few moments later Death Scythe rose into the air.   
He spotted the Wing Zero approaching in bird mode. He turned on the loudspeaker and shouted, "Heero! I got somethin' to say to you!"   
Heero transformed out of bird mode and touched down on the other side of the street. "Duo? What's wrong sweetie?" he asked.   
"What?" Relena blinked.   
"Never mind!" they both said at the same time.   
"You back-stabbing bastard!" Duo yelled, leaping at Heero with his thermal energy scythe.   
Heero brought up his shield to block the would-have-been-fatal blow. "What?" he questioned.   
"You slept with Relena!" Duo sobbed. "I'll kill you!"   
He flipped over Heero's head and slashed down with his scythe. Heero jumped out of the way. "Duo, we can work this out! It's all right!"   
"It's…not…all…right!" he said, punctuating each word with a swing of his scythe. "You lied to me!"   
"Duo, calm down—"   
"I refuse to calm down!" he interrupted, once again swinging the scythe at Heero.   
"Duo, I know you're upset—"   
"Upset nothing! I'm on the warpath!" he yelled.   
"That's IT, Duo!" he leveled his gun and said, "Now come out of there and talk to me!"   
"Fine," he said angrily. He landed, nearly crushing the "Koopa Caterers" jet.   
He stepped out onto his ramp as Heero did the same thing. He then proceeded to walk down his ramp, walk up Heero's ramp, and bitch-slap Heero across the face. "Bastard," he spat.   
He then walked back into the cockpit to take control of Death Scythe once more.   
"Oh, s---!" Heero complained, running back to his cockpit.   
"I'll STILL kill you!" Duo shouted.   
"Duo! Stop!" Heero yelled. "It's Relena's birthday!"   
"You WOULD use that as an excuse!" he retorted.   
"Please, Duo, stop!" Heero pleaded, jumping away as Duo swung at him again.   
"I can't stand to hear you pleading," he said. "So I guess I'll just have to silence you!" He swung again, leaving a scar across the Wing Zero's chest plate.   
"Duo, this is serious!" Heero said. "Stop it!"   
"I'll stop when you're dead!"   


***

  
"What's going on?" Wufei questioned, looking at the clock. "It's 3:17, they should be here."   
Dorothy looked out the window. "Hey, there's a battle out there!" she exclaimed.   
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei looked at each other. "Heero and Duo!" they realized.   


***

  
Heero gave up trying to fight. He dropped from Wing Zero and landed beside Relena, who was staring blankly at the match.   
Duo realized Heero had left. "You…traitorous bastard!" he yelled, slamming the scythe into Heero's car.   
"Run!" Heero commanded Relena.   
She nodded and ran for the house. Wufei caught her right outside the door. "What's going on?" he asked her.   
"Heero…Duo…fighting," she said, trying to catch her breath. "Something about sleeping with me."   
"Uh…I won't ask," he replied.   
"Quatre!" Heero called. "Wufei, Trowa, Duo's gone nuts!"   
"Quite the contrary!" Duo said, having exited his Gundam and now standing behind Heero. "I'm saner than ever, Heero-Honey! 'I can see clearly now, the rain is gone!'" He shoved Heero down and kicked him in the stomach.   
"Duo…Stop!" Heero pleaded painfully.   
"Duo, what's going on?" Trowa and Quatre demanded.   
"Heero is a…lying…back-stabbing…sonuva bitch," Duo said, kicking Heero with each insult.   
"Duo…please…" Heero said, spitting out blood. "Stop!"   
Duo leaned down and yanked Heero to his feet by his hair. "I'll stop when you're dead!" he repeated.   
"Ahhhhh! Duo! Please!" he begged, tears in his eyes.   
Duo lowered his fist. "Aw, Heero-Honey, you know I can't stand to see you cry."   
"Then…STOP!" He kneed Duo in the stomach, catching him off guard.   
Duo doubled over in pain. "You…no good…sonuva—"   
"Stop it, you two!" Quatre cried, jumping between them and spreading his arms out to keep them apart. "You shouldn't be fighting like this!"   
"Yeah, it's Relena's sweet sixteen," Trowa agreed.   
"What's wrong with you?" Wufei scolded.   
"He started it!" Heero and Duo shouted in unison, pointing at each other. "Me? It was you!" they said.   
"You attacked me!"   
"You slept with Relena!"   
"STOP IT!" Quatre shouted.   
"I've GOT rope," Trowa threatened.   
Heero and Duo looked into each other's eyes. Duo averted his gaze and said, "I'm…sorry I went off on you like that, Heero."   
Heero said, "I'm sorry, too, Duo. I should've been more honest with you."   
"Truce?" He held out his hand.   
"Truce," he replied, taking Duo's hand. Then Heero spun Duo into an embrace and kissed him.   
"What's going on here?" Relena questioned.   
Wufei rolled his eyes. "Never mind it," he said. "Come inside."   
"Okay, whatever."   
"Ah! Gross!" Duo said, spitting out Heero's blood. "Heero-Honey!"   
Heero laughed. "You shouldn't kick so hard, next time, Duo-Baby."   


***

  
Relena took one look at her ballroom, screamed, and fainted. Trowa and Wufei looked at each other and shrugged.   
Heero and Duo entered. "Wow, like what you've done with the place, guys," Duo complimented.   
"Thanks," Trowa and Wufei said.   
"Oh, Heero! Hey, Heero!" one of Relena's school friends called. She ran up to him and jumped into his arms. "It's so good to see you again, honey!"   
"Not here, Mandy!" Heero said nervously.   
Duo's eyes narrowed and his arms crossed. "Should've been more honest, huh?"   
"Heero! Hi baby!" another girl called out, running up to him. "Who is SHE?" she demanded upon seeing the girl in his arms.   
Duo was growling now.   
"Uh…" Heero managed.   
"Heero-Honey, who are these people?" and ex-OZ soldier demanded as he walked up to Heero.   
"That's IT!" Duo yelled. "I've seen enough! I've absolutely HAD IT with you and your lies! You are DEAD!" And, using Trowa's pull-it-out-of-nowhere-item-retrieval technique, pulled out an axe.   
Heero dropped the girl and stepped back. "Duo…Don't do anything rash, Duo! Think about what you're doing! Murder is a felony, Duo! Duo! Duo? Stop, this isn't funny, Duo! Aaaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   


***

  
"Guys? Guys, can…Can I come down now? I'm…I'm sorta scared of heights. Guys? Trowa? Wufei? Quatre? Please? Guys?" Duo stared at the estate from the tree branch he was hanging from. He struggled against the ropes as he called out again. "Guys, really, I didn't MEAN to decapitate him! Honest! I just wanted to…you know, scare 'im a little! Guys? This isn't funny, guys! Come on! This rope really hurts Trowa! We can forgive a little temporary insanity, can't we guys? Guys?"   
  


THE END

  
  
PS. I didn't want to write this, but for some strange reason, I enjoyed it. **Shrug** Go fig. Oh well...........You can go back now.  



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